Monthly Archives: July 2017

An Open Letter to Chelsea Handler*

Dear Chelsea,

I just finished your book Are you there Vodka, its me Chelsea and I wanted to write and tell you that you are fucking hilarious. I have a very good friend that has been telling me this for some time – obviously I should be listening to him more, but sometimes trying new things is so hard.

I picked up your book at a library sale so I only paid $1.00 for it but I want you to know now that I’ve actually read it I would have paid FULL price.  I also managed to score Lies Chelsea Handler Told Me and I can’t wait to read it but I cannot read two books of essays back to back, I have to break it up with a novel or something non-fiction, I would like to delve right in to this but there are rules Chelsea.

Anyway, I really wanted you to know that I loved your book and as someone who is really only good at drinking and being sarcastic I can absolutely relate to you, I was also hoping you could mentor me. Do you have some kind of mentoring program? I would gladly fill out some sort of application and even submit to a background check, you can interview my friends and they will totally agree with the drinking and the sarcasm as being my two best qualities.

So, yes I might be years and years late to your party but I want you to know that I am here now – I’m even going use the google to find you on the TV.


*For my ‘regular’ readers this whole open letter thing seems to becoming a thing – just go with it and please read Chelsea Handler (apparently she’s written a whole slew of books).