2023: a Year in Books

Books, , , ,

Its been a long time since I have done this. Four years and a lot of books have gone unreviewed. There’s nothing like recovering from another unwanted surgery to give you the time and boredom to search your shelves and compile a list of books that you’ve read in the past year or so.

Honestly I cant remember exactly why I stopped doing these yearly book reviews. The first year of the pandemic it was hard to sit and read, I spent a lot of time obsessively watching the news and running. Running seemed like I was accomplishing something… sitting still was hard. And then I got divorced and once again sitting still was hard… Sometime in 2022 I calmed down enough to sit down and picked up books again. I haven’t been great at keeping track of what I have been reading so this list is by no means complete but I’ve done the best I can. Enjoy and happy reading:

The Rules of Civility, Amor Towles

I liked this book, not nearly as much as I liked A Gentleman in Moscow but Towels writes great prose and has a distinct voice, it reminded me a little of the Great Gatsby but with a more modern flare.

The Madonnas of Leningrad, Debra Dean

There are a handful of books on this list that I picked up when I thought I was going to Russia and this was the first that I chose to read. It’s a short novel that highlights life in Leningrad during WWII, I’m glad I read it even in that trip got diverted to Portugal.

Russka, Edward Rutherford

I didn’t read all 960 pages of this book but I read enough to feel like I had a good handle on Russian culture. I like reading Rutherford when traveling to new places, he does great research and makes history narrative in a very readable way.

When the English Fall, David Williams

Who knew Amish post apocalyptical fiction was a thing? It is and its good, this book takes place in Lancaster PA and makes you think about what would happen to self sustaining farms just outside a major metropolitan city if commerce and trade broke down and people started going hungry. I read this by accident, having picked it up at a library sale and not understanding what it was about before I got sucked in. Its a quick and enjoyable read that will make you think.

Harlem Shuffle, Colson Whitehead

Meh – this is a good book, not great but a solid story. I think Whitehead is a competent storyteller but not the genius everyone seems to think that he is. I actually listened to the audio version of this book and I think the narrator made it even better, his voice was smooth as silk.

Less, Andrew Sean Greer

a very quirky enjoyable read but how or why it won the pulitzer is beyond me. The protagonist is whiny and annoying and I have no desire to read the follow up Less is Lost. 273 pages of Arthur Less is all anyone needs.

Th Glass Hotel, Emily St John Mendel

Not as good as Station Eleven but still hauntingly written and a delight to read. This book does have some fairly substantial plot holes and unfinished story lines but, for me, it did not distract from the overall enjoyment of the story.

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, Gail Honeyman

I picked this up only knowing that is was beloved by my online book club and assuming it was a light hearted comedy. It is not, it has a lot of humor in it but the over arching story is dark and tragic. I listened to the audiobook and the narrator really brought Eleanor to life. I love this book although it broke my heart.

The Lincoln Highway, Amore Towles

Again, trying to recapture the beauty of A Gentleman in Moscow I tried my third Towels novel and sadly it didn’t come close, as a matter of fact I didn’t even finish it. I abandoned it about 2/3 of the way through having not connected with the main characters or found their story all that compelling. Towles has gone from amazing, to okay to blah for me which was super disappointing.

The Cat Who Saved Books, Sosuke Natsukawa

This was a fun, lighthearted book. I mean what’s better than a books and cats and a talking cat that loves books? Not much, that’s what.

The High Mountains of Portugal, Yann Martel

Purchased after Russia turned into Portugal, this was a great book. Martel’s style is simply fun and enjoyable and just like Life of Pi this story contained a large undomesticated animal that didn’t really make any sense but added greatly to the overall story.

300 Days of Sun, Deborah Lawrence

Another book et in Portugal, this was a mystery which is not my typical genre but I really liked this book. The story was compelling and it gave an interesting look into what life was in Portugal during WWII.

Alentejo Blue, Monica Ali

A native Portuguese writer telling the story of a sleepy mountain town slowly being overrun by ex-pats. This was a full length novel that read like a short story. Its been awhile since I read it but I have no clear memory of any kind of conclusion. I like this book but it had no real storyline and ends rather abruptly.

The Portuguese Empire

A slim historical text about the history of Portugal up until its independence. It was an interesting read that really focused on their sailing history and made my time in the Maritime museum in Lisbon that much more interesting.

Hocus Pocus, Kurt Vonnegut

Meh, not my favorite Vonnegut book. I probably would have set this down and left it on a train somewhere if it had been written by anyone else. I didn’t care for the protagonist at all. There are so many better books by him, my advise is skip this one.

Kitchen Confidential, Anthony Bourdain

I know I am WAY late to the party on this book, but I only recently discovered a love for Bourdain and on a road trip downloaded this from audible. Read by Anthony himself this book was great – funny, inspiring and a little heartbreaking. I’m sad that I didn’t discover him sooner.

Elsewhere, Richard Russo

A memoir about Russo growing up in a small defunct town in upstate New York. This is a really the story of the relationship he had with his Mother. And as with all things Russo it was beautiful, poignant l and hard to let go of.

The Dark Tower Series, Stephen King

These seven books, all 4,250 pages of them where a reread for me and IMHO the best thing that King has ever written. I decided to revisit these books right after reading an article that HBO was going to make it into a series and I am glad that I did because halfway through book one I broke my foot and had plenty of time to embark on an adventure through mid-world. I like some books better than others The Gundslinger is by far my favorite and I don’t love The Wastelands or Song of Susannah nearly as much as Wizards and Glass or the finale The Dark Tower. All that aside though you cant really pick them apart, the entire series is a cohesive story that needs all of its parts to be what it is. I imagine in another 20 years I’ll probably read it again.

Excuse Me While I Disappear, Laurie Notaro

I needed a light pallet cleanser to get me out of my the dark tower hole and nobody does light pallet cleaning quite like the queen on chic lit. Laurie may be getting older but she still has plenty of fodder for good essay writing. I loved a lot of this book although there were parts that I loved a little less so, but either way I will always look for new books of hers.

The Starless Sea, Erin Morgenstern

I hesitated to read this because I simply did not care for The Night Circus but I am very glad that I gave it a chance. It was dark and mysterious and a little bit like reading a treasure map. I loved it in the same way that I loved The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey in a way that’s indescribable.

Lessons in Chemistry, Bonnie Garmus

I jumped right on the band wagon with this book, funny and quirky and full of female empowerment, I couldn’t read it fast enough. I didn’t love the twist at the end that wrapped everything up in such a cloyingly perfect way but I am willing to set that aside for the rest of the story.

The Guide, Peter Heller

I got this hoping it would be akin the Dog Stars but it was a complete departure. I appreciated this book for what it was – a murder mystery set on a fly fishing expedition. It wasn’t really my cup of tea. I gave the book to my Mom when she visited and had her take it to Maine, this book belongs in the woods, with people who will love it.

The Catographers, Peng Shepard

I believe that Shapard will be a great writer some day but this book felt like a struggle from plot development (it took FOREVER to set up the story) to the conclusion (it was so incredibly convoluted it made no sense) and there was a huge plot hole that kind of rendered the entire story moot. I stuck with it because I could see the potential and the vision that I think Shepard probably had but, ugh, in my opinion skip this and wait for her to develop a little more.

Upon The Head of a Goat, Aranka Siegal

Oof, this was a tough read and a good lesson on why you should at least skim the back blurb before starting a new book. I had no ide this was about the holocaust. The story of 9 year old Piri and her journey to the Ghetto in Hungry, told as a memoir after she alone out of her 6 siblings survived Auschwitz. It was not an easy read and not something that I will likely ever forget.

We are Never Meeting in Real Life, Samantha Irby

There’s not a lot of good places to go after the holocaust except down the rabbit hole of Samantha Irby’s mind. I discovered this book in Midway Airport in Chicago and it made me laugh all the way to California.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Taylor Jenkins Reid

Another super popular book that I wasn’t interested in reading…. I picked this up to read on the flights back from San Diego and I could not put it down, I read it in a day. it was a quick and easy read that was funny, complex and a little bit heartbreaking.

A Chant to Sooth Wild Elephants, Jaed Coffin

Meh, this was a memoir about a half Thai/half American college student who leaves New England to become a Thai Monk. It read like a poorly edited self published book. Not only was it not well written but it lacked substance or any revelations that a journey like this might have on a twenty year old. I did not love it.

Love Life, Rob Lowe

Randomly found this in Goodwill one way and picked it up for a quarter. It ended up being a very well written book about Lowe’s rise to fame, his most recent projects (circa 2015) but mostly about his family and the relationship that he has with his two sons, the oldest of which left for college in the middle of his writing this. I enjoyed this book a lot, Lowe is a good storyteller and if what he says is true also a very good father.

Four Seasons in Rome, Anthony Doerr

Picked for a fellowship in Rome just 6 months after his twins where born, Doerr and his wife move them to Italy so that Doerr can write “unimpeded”. This is a small but beautiful book that reads like poetry. Doerr falls in love with the city and with its people and its culture, he’s there during the death of John Paul II and really envelops the reader in all that is Italian.

How to Live Safely in a Science Fiction Universe, Charles Yu

Channeling his inner Douglas Adams this book is a masterpiece in Sci Fi ridiculousness. Charles Yu works as a time machine technician and spends all of his time with his imaginary dog and his ships on board computer who, he is secretly in love with. The story follows as he searches for his father who got trapped in a time loop when Charles was a teenager. This book was funny and cleaver and something the Sci Fi world hasn’t seen in some time.

A Strong West Wind, Gail Caldwell

Another memoir, this time about the Pulitzer award winning author and her coming of age in the panhandle of west Texas, defying her military sergeant father and protesting the Vietnam war. It was a good book that introduced me to Caldwell, I found it on the train.

This Side of Brightness, Colum McCann

Any of you that pay attention to my bookshelves or stay awake while I go on and on about my favorite authors know that McCann is top of the list, I would read a grocery list by this man… This book was not Let the Great World Spin good but it was well written, entertaining and above average. As with almost all of his books it starts in two places and two times and brings everything together in the end. I enjoyed it a lot.

Wow, No Thank You, Samantha Irby

I revisited Irby when I saw this at my favorite fall time library sale, she’s funny and clever and this book got me through the stress of Christmas by reminding me that stress can be funny and everything could always be worse.

Bable, R.F. Kuag

I am only about 3/4 of the way through this book as of posting this list but I think this might be one of my favorite books of the year. I am trying to read it slowly to make it last but its hard when I really want to know what happens and being stuck inside recovering gives me little in the way of distraction other than this story. I am going to go out on a limb and say I loved this book.

5 Weeks of Wisdom

Life Lessons

Welcome to day 35 of the broken foot diaries.

This has been a rough week for a number of reasons, school breaks, big work lunches in the city, a small(ish) misstep on the stairs, this morning I woke up with my right eye swollen shut. No one here seems to now why, neither Dr. Mario nor PHD candidate Otis have the slightest idea but all three of us agree that I look like the victim of something nefarious right now.

But on the bright side I have learned a few important lessons!

I learned to break my 40-something year habit of always sitting on my left foot. This is, admittedly, a terrible and painful habit I should have broken years ago. Thanks to all the newly installed hardware holding said foot together its no longer an option. See even I can learn from repeated pain stimulus; maybe I am smarter than Homer Simpson after all.

I also learned that with the power of a credit card and internet access strangers will bring you groceries to you home. I know, I know, the rest of the developed world learned this a little over three years ago but up until earlier this week I was still a hold out that would drive to the store and walk the aisles… like a rube! Well no more, now some dude named “Kevin” gets to touch my avocados before me.

And I learned that you know your friends love you when they come out of their way to visit you during the day, to enjoy some relaxing down time and you casually mention that maybe the litter box needs changing and next thing you know… its out the door and new litter is in its place.( I’m hoping next week to teach this trick to the cats themselves.)

Other lessons have been less than stellar – like the maximum amount of dirty dishes that will fit in my kitchen sink, how easily a shower stool can be flipped over in a shower, how awful low calorie wine is and how you really need to check your on-line orders before you accidently pay for something so horrible.

Life is just one big classroom, I cannot wait for recess to get here….

On My Last Thin Nerve

Life Lessons, Stuff that sucks

Its been twenty eight days since I stepped wrong out of the drivers side of my jeep and snapped my left foot in half. 28 days… 15 days since it was put back together with a bunch of pins and screws and plates of some sort.

Look, I’m a pretty easy going person but 28 days is a really long time to put your entire life on hold, have to rely on anyone and everyone for the most basic of things and also a very long time to be stuck in a condo with two flights of stairs and one tiny bathroom way at the top. A bathroom, I have come to learn, that’s too narrow to adequately accommodate a pair of crutches (used correctly) or a knee scooter.

I have not allowed myself to complain (very much) for the past 4 weeks because a.) I know things could be worse and 3.) the people around me, who love me and are giving up their time to help me don’t need to hear that. One time pre-surgery I was coming back from the store with a heavy bag of groceries, trying to carry them and crutch my way from the car into my home when a very nice woman stopped what she was doing, crossed the street and carried my bags to my door. She had, at my age, broken her dominate leg in three places. So yeah, things could be worse… I have a roof over my head, food in my fridge and a job that’s still paying me. Sure I have rug burns on my knees from traversing the second floor stairs 12 times a day and I’ve become impossible to be around because I’m bored and discouraged and lost the idea that this is a fun little adventure WEEKS ago but I still recognize that things could be worse.

I have read countless books (7), I have watched two documentaries (Pamela Anderson and Brooke Shields – who’s a child of the 80’s?) I have started Ted Lasso. I have gone outside approximately six times and every time I do I am completely exhausted when I make it back upstairs.

I have no idea what the point of this post was, except I suppose, to release my angst to the world at large. Some good things have happened. My right leg is hella strong right now and the cats are loving the fact that I am home all of the time.

I guess what I’m trying to say is – if you are reading this and thinking doing someone else’s laundry sounds fun or maybe you don’t feel like you get enough opportunities to vacuum please feel free to come over, anytime – literally I’m always home.

My sweet new ride, making it possible to get from the couch to the stairs in minutes flat.

Remember that one time I owned a Subaru?

Life Lessons

There are things that you can buy online, like laundry detergent and paper towels and that cheap cat litter that only Amazon seems to sell, and there are things that you should never buy online: shoes, jeans and most importantly cars.

I understand why online car buying is a thing, there was a time when everyone was afraid of being around everyone, and also the fact that many of us don’t enjoy interacting with people. I am one of those people, I frequent restaurants that you can book a table online. I have spent the better part of a decade at work getting my office moved further and further back in the shadowy depths of the library, I don’t answer the phone except for three people and even then…

In November, as my old reliable Ford Escape was slowly leaking out its entrails all over my parking lot I decided to buy a car without speaking to or interacting with another human being. And you know what? It was remarkably easy. I found, financed and ordered a car to arrive at my house the day after Thanksgiving in a little under two hours.

I was elated and relieved that the Ford still started up when they came to take it away, I was even elated when they drove my new car off the flatbed and a piece of the bumper fell off (I can fix that!). I was even elated when I got into it and realized I was so low to the ground that I was basically laying on the pavement (I can get used to this!). I was elated until I had to take it to my mechanic that afternoon because on the way to a doctors appointment I started dragging parts of the car on the ground.

I became less elated when it seemed the entire underside had been spray painted to hide an excessive amount of rust.

Elation slowly turned to dread and panic as the more I drove my brand new (to me), low mileage, very dependable car (I’m keeping this one forever!) It became more and more obvious that it had been in an accident, or a flood, or both (probably both).

I spent several months trying to justify it (read trying to figure out how not to go back and have to interact with the seller and have conversations centering on ‘WTAF are you doing selling this car to anyone?!?’).

One day it occurred to me though that if I kept the Subaru I would eventually end up talking to my mechanic more often than I would a car dealer. I’d end up talking to him and to the people that administrated the “warranty” for the car. There were many phone calls in my future. Too many.

So, I took a day off work, put my big girl pants on, went to a car dealership. Assured them there was nothing wrong with my pretty, low mileage, dependable trade-in and proceeded to have conversations about adulty car things that I had googled the night before.

Several hours later, I purchased the prettiest and most comfortable car I’ve ever owned that makes me feel tall and powerful and will off road if ever I accidentally miss the road… And if I should ever lose my job, home and everything I have I’ll still have leather furniture and two skylights when I have to live in her (win/win!).

A fair weather fans defense of Eagles fans

Random stuff, stuff I don't fully understand, Things that confuse me

I don’t care about sports, like not at all. The only reason that I appreciate them is because they’ve created things like the ‘wing bowl’ and other deeply fried finger foods that you get to eat while you watch them. But in general sports exists somewhere on the periphery of my consciousness. Except for now when my entire city is funneling beer in one hand and painting their entire bodies green with the other. It’s a hard thing to block out, you know?

Look we don’t have a lot of good stuff going on here in the city of brotherly love, crime is up, housing is unreasonable and to quote a recent article in the Washington post, “the city reached its peak of importance more than two centuries ago”*. We are the poorest of America’s 25 largest cities and if sports helps to distract us from our everyday rage over the inherent unfairness of life than I say funnel away!

I love Philadelphia, I love the passion with which we love and hate things with equal and complete thoroughness and gusto (see why crime is up). I like how nearly everyone downtown today has either a shirt or a hat on it that reads “No one likes us and we don’t care.” I mean, come on – I want to be friends with those people.

I know that the rest of the world is slightly (if not completely) baffled that there are city workers out today greasing every lamppost in the city. But I also know that come Sunday night some incredibly inebriated locals are only going to be excited for the extra challenge of getting to the top of those polls. And that my friends is true grit. And isn’t that what sports are all about? No, really I’m asking because I don’t know… I’m a librarian.

* Opinion | With Eagles in the Super Bowl, Philadelphia fans set themselves apart – The Washington Post

Don’t Call it a Comeback… well actually…

Divorce

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve visited this site, so long in fact that it took half the day to reset my password.  In the beginning of 2021, I wasn’t sure that I ever would come back here. That’s the thing about getting a divorce, once you get one you never really know where you stand with the people that were in your life when you were part of a team that no longer exists. I don’t know the protocol because I’ve never been divorced before, I just know that there were regular readers of this website that are no longer a part of my life or, I’m assuming, want anything to do with me. But a full two years later I have concluded that its not my problem, people can come here and read what I have to say or not, that’s entirely up to them.

I’ve missed adding my voice to the throng of crap on the internet so yeah… I’ll be writing stuff and I’ll be publishing the much-anticipated and practically infamous* yearly book reviews (and not just to get my sister off my back) – you’re welcome, Beth.

I guess what I wanted to say is that in the time I’ve been dark much has changed. My life is nothing like it was and most of that is a good thing, I spend my days focusing on where to go from here. Honestly, I expected that when I began this new life of mine there would be a lot more sad introspective nights of excess drinking questioning every decision I’ve ever made. Don’t get me wrong, there’s been some of that but not NEARLY as much as anyone expected. I suspect it’s because I finally grew up and realized that life is short, and wallowing takes up a lot of unproductive time and that moving forward and finding things that make you happy are a much better use of your energy. Seems simple but right now my 23-year-old self just dropped her jaw on the floor…

So here I am, all grown up and stuff. Check back regularly for words of wisdom, or anecdotes or examples of misguided parenting or whatever spews forth from my brain from time to time. Or don’t, if you’ve been paying attention, you already know that I don’t care one way or another.

hugs, Becca

Donuts, the great cure all. Also why I’m kind of a good person but not really…

Uncategorized

I want to preface this post by setting the scene in my family room last night. On occasion, since the pandemic started, I facetime with my BFF in California. We do this over several bottles of wine and typically rage at the current political situation. Our shared outrage tends to lead to more wine and that invariably leads to a rough morning after. Last night while pregaming for my facetime raging I decided that I needed to do something good and worthwhile and I signed up to donate blood at 9:00 this morning. The forethought that this might not be a good idea 6 days before the election and that by 9:00am my blood alcohol level might be lethal to whoever is unfortunate enough to get my blood did not at all cross my mind. Smugly, I logged into the Red Cross website and put myself on the list. Below is the texting transcript that started with my BFF in California at exactly 9:28 this morning:

  • Me: UGGGHHHHH… I just got back from donating blood with a HUGE headache. I wanted to tell them that my blood is probably 46% straight red wine. I thought it problematic to reveal…
  • Him: Hahahaha, Ugh. Someone in need somewhere is going to get an infusion buzz! I’m onboarding GALLONS of water as we speak
  • Me: I’ve had a TON of water, I’m currently toasting a bagel because… food.
  • Him: Bread will help
  • Me: Fingers crossed emoji
  • Him: lighted candle GIF
  • Me: I HOUSED that bagel, is it wrong to have 2 bagels?
  • Him: NOT.AT.ALL (this is why I love him)

*Five minute interlude where I stand in front of my refrigerator seriously contemplating toasting another bagel (side note: they are pumpkin bagels from trader Joes and delicious), but ultimately come to the conclusion that I don’t have enough cream cheese to adequately smother said bagel appropriately. My mind decides that the only thing that will make me feel better is a donut. My mind will NOT let go.

  • Me: My headache DESPERATLY needs a donut!
  • Haha, its funny that you say that I’ve been CRAVING a real, honest to god donut shop donut for a solid 72 hours now (Side Note: my BFF and I share a brain – these things come up all the time. Also, Side note: since his heart attack last year, he can’t eat donuts and I can’t listen to the second half of the Hamilton soundtrack without getting panicky – true story)
  • Me: MY ENTIRE SOUL IS CRYING OUT FOR A DONUT!
  • Him: Theatrical much? It is T minus 30- minutes until I have to leave for the office, how can this be? I’m nowhere near ready.
  • Me: Dammit – hey pick up a donut on the way. Also, bring me a donut.
  • Him: Ugh, Devil on my shoulder
  • Me: I know, I’m sorry. I am evil and my will power has been replaced with a ginormous headache that only donuts can fix
  • Him: I completely understand donut emoji

I am never going to get that donut, in fairness he has MUCH more will power than I do and lives 5,000 miles away. It doesn’t lessen the desire though.

Oh man, my head hurts.

New Guidelines for Living in These Uncertain Times

pandemics

When this pandemic started if someone had asked me how long it would be before wearing a bra became optional I would have been hard pressed to tell them, now I know that it’s exactly six months before I unharnessed that social custom, see what I did there?

And it didn’t go down hill gradually, Monday I decided not to put one on when “going” to work. And by work I mean the corner of my living room. By Friday I was going to the Acme without it. I hesitated, but my rational was that I had on jeans and not the pajama pants that all of my fellow shoppers were wearing. I thought of it as leveling the playing field.

There are other things that have slipped in this COVID lifestyle, brushing my hair happens… um… sometimes and I definitely wear the same pair of jeans longer than I should.

On the flip side I floss my teeth EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. My dentist retired in June and there is NO way I’m going out shopping for a stranger to stick their hands in my mouth now, nope.

Other things I will not do now – eat inside at a restaurant, make out with random strangers in the subway, ride the subway, eat food off the ground or use that chapstick that I found in the bar bathroom. My life has really closed in on itself.

Newsletter: Year 10

Newsletter

Thursday Lucy turned 10. She is tall and quick witted and loves to bake. She has a dry, dead-pan sarcastic humor, she is anxious around new people and still loves to play with barbies and cannot sleep without being surrounded by stuffed animals. She is the light of my life and I can’t imagine life without her.

Here she is in her own words – we did two videos because the first one we realized (half way through) was not the right set of questions and the second one there’s some sound issues and its very hard to hear her. Turn up your speakers and enjoy!

 

 

Oh and here’s all the others because it’s fun to see the progression:

Back in the Bunker

pandemics

I’m still alive!

I’ve spent most of the summer sheltering in place in the middle of nowhere and as Robert Frost once famously stated that has made all the difference.

I have been somewhat immune to the power of the coronavirus as its barely reared its ugly head in my former (and soon to be current again) location. My daughter and I have had the privilege of running around the woods and swimming in a lake and in general staying away from things like the news and the white house press briefings.

All of this, of course, comes with a price and that price is reverting to childhood and living with my parents. Most of the time this is fine – they are old, can’t hear very well and go to bed very early. But I still find myself rolling my eyes behind their backs and rebelling against home rule in sly but subtle ways. The difference now is that at 4:00 everyday my Mom and I have happy hour together and sometimes drink enough wine to blur the line between parent and child. I also have an ally in my daughter and my nephew who both also rolls their eyes at Nana and share private jokes with me about getting old.

My biggest fears right now are ticks and how many spiders are crawling in my mouth while I sleep… trust me that place is teeming with spiders.

This week I am home, and it is literally 100 degrees outside and I can’t visit anyone or do anything  because I’m not going out there… It is nice to see my husband (who only stops working for about 2 and a half hours every day) and pet my dog who has been woefully neglected this summer, but I’m ready to switch out the four outfits I wore all summer for a different four outfits and hit the road again.

The bunker has weathered the summer quite nicely without me –it makes sense that when my child and I are removed from the equation spaces stay nicer and less messy. Two hours after arriving at my parent’s house in June the entire thing was covered in glitter and nearly half of the porch had been sectioned off to make way for Barbie land – 30 square feet of bedrooms, shopping malls and fashion runways. In reserve it only took half that time when we arrived back to home to completely take over the living room that (apparently) had been mess-free for two solid months. I try so hard to remind my husband that the chaos and debris that follow me around is simply part of my charm – he (for some reason) does not believe me and rolls his eyes every time I try to convince him otherwise.

There has been a lot of eye rolling this summer.

Updates from the Bunker

pandemics

Here in the bunker we have lost all sense of time and space – we simply refer to everyday as Blursday. We operate strictly according the laws of nature, if it’s nice we go outside, if it is not than we stay inside. We are simple folk who sometimes remember to wash their hair and sometimes have to be called out by those around us to do so. Our biggest excitement comes when new Amazon boxes are delivered.

Next week some of us will be relocating to a new bunker – because sometimes it’s exciting to clean different things than the things that you always clean. And also this bunker is getting hot and I have already sent a strongly worded email to our pool club that under no circumstances, even if they open, would be using their facilities this summer. They are not big fans of me.

I actually spend a lot of my time sending strongly worded emails these days. So much so that sometimes my husband will walk in to the living room looks at my face and say “who are you arguing with now?” He knows me so well.

Things that I love right now are: drive through convenience stores, drunk FaceTime get-togethers, the price of gasoline, audiobooks and Pinterest. Things I hate: TV, people who congregate in groups, the price of avocados, politics and cooking dinner.

The Review…

Uncategorized

I would definitely not recommend this restaurant. The proprietor is surly, sarcastic and (I’m pretty sure) drunk. All of the surfaces are sticky and the food is not just bad but teaming with cat and dog hair. I was served undercooked hotdogs with cocktail sauce despite the giant crate of ketchup sitting in the corner of the dining room. Once finished my “meal” I was informed that I had to do my own dishes as well as those sitting next to the sink. Despite all of my hard work I was presented with an outrageous bill at the end and told that I had to pay… in wine.

I’m giving myself a terrible Yelp review

pandemics

Becca’s day 45 pandemic diner menu

Breakfast: Cereal, but really it’s just the end of 3 bags. I call it stale cinnamon toast crunch raisin bran cheerios surprise. The surprise is that you have to eat it dry because I need the last of the milk for my coffee.

Lunch: BLT – no wait just a BT um… this tomato isn’t very good and there isn’t any bacon. Here – have this bowl of mayo but lick it slow it’s all there is until dinner.

Dinner: hot dogs on white bread – we are out of ketchup though your condiment choices include cocktail sauce or red Thai curry paste. The hot dog will be served with a side of bag salad – you need to pick out the good stuff, there is no dressing.

Dessert: What now?

Ramblings from the Bunker

pandemics

I have lost track of what day it is – I only know if it’s a work day or a non-work day, last week I got excited for Friday but then I couldn’t remember why… My bangs have still not grown out long enough to tuck behind my ears and I’m thinking of just covering all the mirrors in the house with heavy black fabric.

I have started walking five miles a day – for both exercise and escape. I’ have been doing this consistently for a week now and have managed to gain 4 pounds. Four pounds! This seems wildly unfair especially since I haven’t changed any of my eating habits.

I’ve been having a lot of strange coronavirus related dreams – including one night when I discovered that the Keebler elves had created a vaccine and I had to go get it from them, it was hard because I barely fit inside that tree.

I have started some weird habits since being home, for instance I make my bed every day. Every day – I have never done this before, I will miss it when the world resumes a semblance of normalcy.  I have also cut down on the amount of coffee I drink – it seems to only take me half of what it used to to get me going, probably all of that energy I had to exert putting on pants.

A Public Service Announcement

pandemics

Rules for online shopping during the Pandemic:

–          Pay attention to the quantity of what you are purchasing. I now own enough ketchup and popcorn to last the rest of our lives

–          Abstain from constantly refreshing your order summary in Amazon to see when items will arrive – this will drive you crazy. Everything takes a long time.

–          The more puzzles you buy the more puzzles you will be forced to put together

–          If you buy enough books you can use them to build a prepper bunker in your backyard

–          Literally all of these things can be avoided if you don’t shop online while intoxicated.

April Fool’s in the Bunker

Holidays, pandemics

Here is a list of the April Fools pranks that Jason played on us this morning:

  • The coffee cup cabinet was full of plastic Easter eggs that rained down on my head at 6:00am
  • Lucy’s toilet paper roll was taped together with packing tape
  • All of the keys on my keyboard were popped off and put back on alphabetically
  • Lucy’s bathroom sink was taped closed
  • The bottom of my optical mouse was taped with packing tape
  • The default language on Lucy’s iPad was set to Spanish

Clearly this man needs some hobbies (and less packing tape).

Bunker Life*

pandemics, Uncategorized

My hair is a mess, my bangs are too long to be down and too short to go back. I have hair like Ray in Star Wars but not in a good way – in a way that looks like it was done by a toddler with one good hand.

I feel like I am failing at a number of things right now – like why aren’t my closets clean and how come only half the laundry has been put away? Why aren’t I planking more often or taking free master classes? I have one totally arbitrary goal everyday – to get the coffee table cleaned off and I’m even failing at that. Actually I’ve failed so bad that I’ve finally hauled out the requisite pandemic puzzle. Its the puzzle that you do when your family doesn’t have anything left to talk about beyond what you are all having for dinner.

Its seems to be shedding season, or we are just petting the animals too much? Either way everything in the house is covered in multiple layers of fur. You open a door and the entire floor seems to move. I could vacuum everyday and still it would pile up. Just to be clear I do not vacuum everyday but I could… vacuuming is the worst.

Last Sunday Jason smoked a chicken and I spent the entire week making it in to different things – a pot pie, fajitas, salad… I hate this chicken so much. I thought that we would be prepared for the long term because we have a freezer full of chicken downstairs – I am currently regretting this idea.

Today Lucy asked me “how do you multiply fractions?” and “Mom, why are you drinking so much wine lately” I couldn’t answer either of those questions.

*Like thug life only more isolating

Sleeping With One Eye Open

pandemics

I am alive! I am in the same clothes that I wore yesterday and maybe the day before that. I have only left my house to either walk the dog or to go to the grocery store. This past Monday the grocery store was much more crowded than I felt comfortable with and in full disclosure I may have gotten into a fight with a woman in the wine aisle – I was not my best self but in all fairness neither was she.

At home I have been changing the cat litter more often than normal and when not doing that I am emptying the dishwasher – feeding 3 people 3 meals a day creates a lot of dishes. Work, chores and obsessive news checking has taken up most of my energy – there are streaming work out videos and a large primed canvas downstairs mocking me right now.

Lucy is being pretty good about her school work but looks for any excuse to procrastinate – this morning she made me tell her everything that I know about typewriters, dental floss and what the center of the earth feels like. I am a sucker for this and end up turning in to Cliff Clavin at the breakfast table… I was 10 minutes in to an explanation of how and why the qwerty keyboard was invented when I realized I was playing right in to her hand – if I was a cartoon there would have been a giant lollipop over my head.

If anyone is excited about this lock-down it is our animals, the dog especially is loving the constant attention. The cat though… I’m fairly certain he is plotting to kill us in our sleep.

Day 4? Day 5? Day 15?

pandemics

Moral in the house is waning, or at least it was until we realized that Netflix has released a new season of Boss Baby. Online school started today and Jason has one again retreated to the basement. Once we start math though, I’m going to lock Lucy down there with him.

My bangs continue to grow out in a weird and awkward way that doesn’t even submit to the hot air brush anymore. I might need to resort to wearing headbands soon.

Last night we taught Lucy how to play monopoly and she kicked our butts – I’m attributing it to the fact that she was the only one of us not pandemic drinking. I woke up to an empty bottle of lagavulin on the kitchen counter this morning and warned Jason that if things continue this way he may be forced to drink the blended scotch soon. It is dire times.

In the Bunker day 3

pandemics

The only good thing that I can attribute to the corona virus so far is that it is giving me ample time to grow my bangs out without anyone seeing that weird awkward stage where you have to pin it back with a random bobby pin.

This morning I struggled out of bed at 5:30 and made way to the grocery store so I could avoid interacting with people and get there when they open. Also, with the recent closure of the state wine stores I was hoping to restock my quickly dwindling wine supply. But you know what I learned today? Apparently there is a PA law that says no wine sales before 8:00a.m.. 8:00! A.M.! PA residents take note!

Lucy technically had a day off of school today and even though I tried to make up work for her to do she saw right through it and by 10:07a.m. she was bored bored bored. And what I should have done is opened any of the 500 links people have posted online to “keep your kids from getting bored while stuck at home” – we should have mixed up some bath bombs or created giant bubble frame in the back yard but instead I let her watch the Simpson’s – like a dozen episodes of the Simpson’s and if that’s not educational I don’t know what is.

Jason hasn’t been spotted for two days, he went to get something out of the basement on Saturday…

Lock down

pandemics

Yesterday my employer (in an abundance of caution) closed our office and all but essential employees are working remotely until the end of the month – I am far from “essential”. By sheer coincidence I have been working from home since Tuesday, that’s four days and I’m already sick of myself.

I don’t want to get in to the virus and debate over whether or not we are responding correctly, I want to talk about how I tried to buy tampons at target last night and how that aisle was virtually empty. I want to discuss whether the 11 bottles of wine I have is enough to get me through without murdering my family (whom I love very much and don’t really want to kill unless I HAVE to).

Very much like my “updates from the couchside” I’m going to be writing for the next two weeks about how life is “inside the bunker”. Today my husband is home, working in the office – I can hear him on a conference call and I already want to bash his face in for destroying my peace and quiet. Today is day one.

Random Observations of the similarities between Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings      

Deep Thoughts, Random stuff

Things you start thinking about when you watch LOTR with your 9 year old:

  • –          Both villains are trying to reclaim their corporal bodies

  • –          Both protagonists have the ability to become invisible

  • –          Both have giant spiders that look exactly the same (Shelob & Aragog) – same for the trolls

  • –          The Ring is really just a horcrux

So Long My Old Friend

Random stuff, Stuff that sucks

Last night my microwave died – this might not seem like very important news or an impetus to write an entire blog post over but it is. It really is.

The Microwave in question was a basic 1200 watt Sanyo. It was black and nondescript, it had a wonky open button that often got stuck and required 2 hands to get in to. What makes this particular appliance special it that I bought it, on clearance (as a returned item missing the box) in 1994. For those of you that are math challenged that was 26 years ago – twenty six! That microwave and I had a relationship that outlasted well nearly all of my relationships. That microwave was old enough to take to a bar and buy a beer and up until the very end it was a work horse, it could heat a cup of water up in 30 seconds and cook an entire spaghetti squash in less than 15 minutes. In a time when small appliances are so short-lived it feels like you rent them rather than buy them this Sanyo was a relic of a bygone age (I do in fact recognize that writing that sentence also makes me a relic of a bygone age). It died without fanfare or dramatics, it simply stopped working in the middle of heating up a cup of coffee – it stopped so abruptly that I thought the electricity had gone out.

I realize that I may be abnormally attached to small electronics. I still have the same blender that my parents had in the house that I was born in to – a heavy glass monstrosity that can still crush ice with the best of them, not that I ever use it. I can’t remember the last time I needed to blend something – that’s what Jamba Juice is for. Also until just a few years ago I had been hauling around my alarm clock from my childhood bedroom, this alarm clock was so bright that I could read books by it and as a small child I remember doing just that for hours after my allotted bedtime. The alarm clock stopped working years ago and in the end was just a pile of broken pieces but it was still a sad day when I finally threw it in the trash. When you consider all the times I have moved in my life this is a serious commitment most likely bordering on psychosis.

I do not know how to truly honor this Sanyo, I know many people would simply throw it out and make a trip to best buy and move on but I am thinking that a nice burial plot out behind our shed might be a fitting place or perhaps a new life as a planter box. It is a good thing that my husband is a patient and understanding person.

Beth’s Books 2019

Books

I am finding it more and more rare to find people in this world who still read the way my sister and I do. I was in the post office a few weeks ago and as I went to pay a book fell out of my purse, the cashier said to me “huh, I can’t remember the last time I saw an actual book” This made me so sad – for her.

Anywho – without further ado, for the third year in a row here is my sister’s official 2019 line up. Enjoy!

“This was a different kind of reading year for me. I was in two book clubs, so much of my
reading (or attempted reading) was chosen by others. Not an unwelcome situation, as I read things I would not have picked up on my own, but it did affect the amount and types of what I read, as well as the pace of my reading. There were a number of book club books that didn’t finish, mostly because I ran out of time and had to move on to the next book. I only included the books I completely finished below. Also, in spite of my best intentions, I didn’t keep very good track of what I read. Therefore, the list below is only what I can remember, and likely incomplete.

Part 1: Books I Chose On My Own

Tuva or Bust! Richard Feynman’s Last Journey by Ralph Leighton

This was a travel book – one of my favorite genres. I loved this tale of choosing somewhere to go on a whim and trying to get there — pre-internet. This was a slow motion travelogue in which letters were written and airfares were researched by checking the fare list in the travel section of the Sunday paper. Tuva, at the time, was located in the Soviet Union, which further complicated the attempt to travel there. This was also a sweet book about friendship. Not for everyone, but if you like travel writing and remember the Cold War, it was a delightful time capsule.

Red Sparrow by Jason Matthews

Speaking of the Cold War . . . although, this one is set after that time it is still a USA versus Russia spy story. I enjoyed it – it was fun and suspenseful and had all the elements of a classic espionage novel. It is not great literature and there are times you have to suspend disbelief, but it was a good time.

Life Undercover Coming of Age in the CIA by Amaryllis Fox

So, staying on the espionage track . . . this was a memoir by a CIA agent. I really got into memoirs in general this year and this one was a fast read – finished it in a weekend. She had some insightful observations on attempting to balance marriage and motherhood with undercover work. Definitely recommend.

Mindhunter by John Douglas

I came to this book the opposite way of how I usually get there – from TV. I binge watched the series on Netflix and then read the book. It may have been the better way to do it. The series is definitely made for TV – much more dramatic and only loosely tracks the book. The book is very good in its own right but had I read it first I would have been all upset about how the series changed it.

I’ll Be Gone in the Dark by Michelle McNamara

Mindhunter put me onto a “how are serial killers caught” kick so I picked this one up next. The book was somewhat anticlimactic given that the killer was caught after it was published. However, it was a very detailed illustration of just how the killer was able to elude police for so long.

Calypso by David Sedaris

I bought this in the airport because I need a book to read on my flight home. I have read Sedaris before and enjoyed him. This one was hysterical – I was sitting in a middle seat on the plane and trying to stifle my laughter so that I didn’t make a scene, but I think that just made it look like I was having a seizure. In addition to Sedaris’s fabulous sense of humor, another reason I like him is this: “The Sea Section [his beach house] came completely furnished, and the first thig we did after getting the keys was to load up all the televisions and donate them to a thrift shop.” Yay for those who eschew TV [including myself in this category, occasional Netflix binge notwithstanding].

Dear Fahrenheit 451: Love and Heartbreak in the Stacks: A Librarian’s Love Letters and Breakup Notes to Her Books by Annie Spence

This was a recommendation from my friend Jen and I LOVED it. A librarian writes notes to various books – some she likes, some she doesn’t. It was funny and sarcastic and irreverent. However, we decided that maybe the snarky humor is generational as not everyone we got to read this book felt the same. However, if you are roughly Gen X and like books about books, pick this one up.

Escape from Mr. Lemoncello’s Library by Chris Grabenstein

I needed to read a Maine student book award winner for last winter’s book bingo so I picked this one. It is a middle-grade book that involves a challenge to get out of the library by solving book-related riddles. I listened to the audio version and enjoyed it quite a bit – a clever book about libraries and books – how can you go wrong?

The Dutch House by Ann Patchett

Another recommendation from Jen and another win. It’s a multi-generational story surrounding a house in the suburbs of Philadelphia. I listened to the audio version which was read by Tom Hanks. Hanks’ narration absolutely made this book for me – definitely bumped it up a notch from just reading it alone. Trigger warning of evil stepmother.

Part 2: Genre Fiction from authors that I follow

If you have read my past year’s book reviews, you will know that I read a fair amount of genre fiction. I have a few authors from whom I eagerly await the next installment and pounce on it the moment it is published. For the most part [looking at you Joe Ide] they reliably produce a book every year. Below is what I read in 2019.

Almost Midnight by Paul Doiron

This is a series about a Maine game warden. These books are always satisfying and have a wonderful sense of place. As it turns out, the main character, Mike Bowditch, is also a no TV person: “One of the decisions I’d made, in moving into my new house, had been to sell my television.”

The Sentence is Death by Anthony Horowitz

I started reading Anthony Horowitz with Magpie Murders. It was my favorite book of 2017. I do like this new series where he inserts himself into the novels – it’s a clever device. This is the second of these, after the Word is Murder. I liked it but am really waiting for another Magpie Murders book – which appears to be coming out in August 2020.

The Fallen by David Baldacci

The only series of Baldacci’s that I have read is the Memory Man series. This is the fourth in the series and it didn’t disappoint. I am fascinated by the protagonist, Amos Decker, who has a photographic memory.

The American Agent by Jacqueline Winspear

I have been reading the Maisie Dobbs series for years. This is book 15 – the characters are well-developed and have matured over the course of the series but the writing still feels fresh. Love this series.

The Night Fire by Michael Connelly

Michael Connelly is a master of crime fiction. I am so happy that he has brought Harry Bosch and Rene Ballard together (with a little Mickey Haller thrown in for good measure). This one involves a cold case which is one of my favorite crime novel devices.

Bloody Genius  by John Sandford

This latest in the Virgil Flowers series involved the murder of a college professor. I liked Virgil a lot more when he was single. Now that he is in a serious relationship, my crush is fading.

Heaven My Home by Attica Locke

Another series with a fantastic sense of place, this one is set in East Texas and follows Texas Ranger Darren Matthews. Only the second in the series, I can’t wait for more.

Part 3: Book Club Books

The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides

Annie Spence went on at length about this book in Dear Fahrenheit 451 so we decided to read them together for book club. I liked, but didn’t love, this book. However, it did stick with me. I think I might have been more enamored of it as an angsty teenager than as an adult. I also watched the movie directed by Sophia Coppola – one of the better movie adaptations I have seen.

Becoming by Michelle Obama

Another book club pick, I both read and listened to this one. Like The Dutch House, the audio is superior to the printed book. Michelle Obama reads it herself and you feel like you are sitting in the room having a conversation with her.

After the Eclipse by Sarah Perry

Not one I would have picked up on my own, but a pleasant surprise. This is a memoir by a woman whose mother was murdered when she was a child. She doesn’t just rely on memory but goes back through all the records and interviews people to make this a more complete telling of the story. Excellent both as a memoir and a true crime novel and, it took place very near to where I live.

My Antonia by Willa Cather

We picked this a classic for book club. I had read it at least twice before but couldn’t remember much about it. I am not sure what it is about this book – I like it but it just doesn’t stick with me. Even now, the most recent reading is fading from memory.

Normal People by Sally Rooney

This book made many of the “best of” lists and I just don’t get it. It is two teenagers who emotionally torture each other by alternately getting together, breaking up, and generally miscommunicating. It was painful. As an adult, I just have no patience for this.

The Chinese Orange Mystery by Ellery Queen

A classic locked room mystery written in 1934. It was enjoyable but dated.

Part 4: Audio Books My Son and I listened to on Car Trips

Enders Game  by Orson Scott Card

My son is into science fiction so we listened to this classic. I loved it and am not sure why it took me so long to get around to reading it. Published in 1985, it is heavily influenced by the Cold War but forward-thinking and futuristic enough that it holds up over time.

The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman

One of my favorites, I had to really sell my son on this one but once we listened to it, he couldn’t wait to listen to the next two.

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

I liked this a lot more than my son did but it is probably due to all the 80s references. Set in the future, it involves an on-line contest that requires the participants to know a lot about the 80s.

Treasurer Island  by Robert Louis Stevenson

The recording we listened to had a full cast and sound effects which made it very enjoyable. A true classic novel . . . with pirates.”

 

Join us back here next year when Beth will take better notes and share with us all the books that she read in 2020 🙂 . Until then – Happy Reading!

2019: A Year in Books

Books
Welcome to my  8th annual book review! I came in just shy of my 50 book goal but not by much. This year I think I had a good mix of books that I intended to read (books that I went out of my way to get) and unintended books – free books and nearly free books picked up all willy-nilly here and there.

What are you doing with your Christmas Bonus?

Random stuff, Stuff that sucks

Let’s talk about the dental habits of cats for a moment, shall we? I have had cats my entire life, I like them because unlike most other pets (I’m looking at you dogs) they are pretty self-sufficient and take minimal time to deal with. If our dog is a toddler with ADHD who can’t even bath himself than the cat is a 17 year high school senior who knows how to do everything for himself, disdains you and is ready to just leave and get to college already.

Because of all of this my history with cats has always been – I will feed you and pet you but you are responsible for your own grooming and medical care. Don’t come crying to me if you need anything. Our current cat was found huddled, dirty, sick and malnourished under a car in West Philly. I took him to the vet when I first got him to get medicine but after he was healed and had packed on another 5-7 pounds I washed my hands of his care and have spent the last five years simply petting him and providing a lap for him to nap on.

This past summer he developed an odor… a truly disgusting, foul stench that emanated from his mouth. I did what anyone with my disposition would do, I ignored it and re-positioned him on my lap so as to smell him as little as possible. Eventually it became hard to ignore, I did some internet research and decided he probably had some bad oral hygiene going on up in there. I went out and purchased some very expensive scientifically formulated cat food that is supposed to break up plague and take care of your cat’s oral care. Done and done.

Then this fall, as the stench not only returned but worsened (even with the expensive new food) I finally relented and made him a vet appointment but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was not going to be that person that paid hundreds of dollars to get their cats teeth cleaned, enough is enough you know? So imagine my surprise when the vet showed me the advanced stages of periodontal disease happening inside his mouth and as I looked at my poor kitty literally clinging to the front of my jacket for emotional support I realized that I wasn’t that person at all.  I was the person who said “it’s okay, go ahead and pull all his teeth it doesn’t matter what it costs, I don’t want him in pain, we’ll do whatever we need to do”. I don’t really want to disclose how much oral surgery for a cat costs but let’s just say… I have reached a higher plateau of crazy cat lady status.

Beth’s Books 2018

Books

The following is my sister’s second annual book review – revel in it’s beauty my friends!

I didn’t read many books this year. I had a number of things going on, including my father passing away and running for office. I was short on time and distracted most of the year. This also resulted in a very long list of half-read books that I keep meaning to go back to (A Gentleman In Moscow, Educated, Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, We were the Kennedys, River Talk, Outposts . . . the list goes on) as well as books I may have read but forgot to make a note of. What I finished, and can remember, is below.

The Top Five

The Library Book by Susan Orlean

This was a love letter to libraries woven around the story of the 1986 fire at the Central Branch of the Los Angeles public library. Non-fiction that read like fiction. If you love books and libraries, this book is for you.

Madonna in a Fur Coat by Sabahattin Ali

A Turkish classic from the late 1940s that was only translated into English last year. I am a sucker for tragic love stories and this one hit all the right notes. Favorite passage: “It should not have mattered so much where we were born, whose child we were. All that mattered was that two people had found each other and achieved a rare happiness. The rest was incidental.”

Butterflies in November by Ardur Ava Olafsdottir

One of my reading resolutions for last year was to read less provincially and to read more books in translation. This is a contemporary novel translated from Icelandic. This book had many elements that I enjoyed: an intelligent, resourceful, female protagonist with relationship issues, a journey, and lots of quirky characters and events.

The Biggest Elvis by P.F. Kluge

This was primarily set in a nightclub in the Philippines before the closing of Subic Bay Naval Base. It is part love story, part mystery, and part social commentary on bar-girls and entrapment caused by poverty. This one stuck with me long after I was finished. Kluge also wrote Eddie and The Cruisers – made into a movie that I watched multiple times in the 1980s.

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie

Yes, I know that he is on the “me too” blacklist, but this is a great coming of age book told from the point of view of a Native American living in poverty. It is funny and the self-deprecation is masterful. I am thankful to the guys in the used bookstore who recommended this and I would recommend it to others, despite the sins of the author.

Non-Fiction

The Year of Reading Dangerously, How Fifty Great Books Saved My Life by Andy Miller

I spent an entire afternoon laughing out loud while reading this book. However, I appreciate that not everyone is going to find it so fantastically funny. Your mindset has to be part book snob, part adolescent, with an appreciation of dry British humor. Miller’s comparison of Moby Dick and the Da Vinci Code (“Whale vs Grail”) will forever be one of the funniest things I have ever read.

The Last Grain Race by Eric Newby

I love good travel/adventure books. The very best ones make me want to pack a bag and run away from home to traipse around the world. This was one of those. Newby chucks his job in advertising and signs aboard the Moshulu as an apprentice seaman (in 1938) in an around the world voyage transporting grain from Australia to the UK. Also exciting is that the Moshulu is now a floating restaurant in Philadelphia that I have been to.

The Taliban Shuffle by Kim Barker

I first saw the Tina Fey movie Whiskey, Tango Foxtrot and was determined to read the book behind the movie. This one also made me want to run off – this time to be a foreign correspondent. It goes without saying, but there is so much more to the book than there was to the movie.

North Country by Howard Frank Mosher

Mosher was a Vermont author that I had heard of but never read. This book chronicles his 1990s drive along the US/Canada border. Part travelogue, part memoir I enjoyed it but it wasn’t super exciting. I did like Moser’s writing enough to read more though (see below).

The Soul of an Octopus by Sy Montgomery

If you have a child that is really into nature then you may have read some of Sy Montgomery’s other titles (“Quest for the Tree Kangaroo: An Expedition into the Cloud Forest of New Guinea” or “Kakapo Rescue: Saving the World’s Strangest Parrot”). Soul of an Octopus is another nature work that chronicles the life of the resident giant pacific octopuses at the New England Aquarium. This is an enjoyable piece of immersion journalism that will make you care about octopuses in a way you never thought possible.

Book Lust by Nancy Pearl

Last year I had picked up “Book Lust to Go.” I decided to check out Pearl’s other titles in this series and I enjoy having them as references for when I am stuck on what to read next. Nice to have on hand if you want to discover some titles you might not have otherwise read and add to your TBR pile.

General Fiction

Transcription by Kate Atkinson

I am reasonably sure that I bemoaned the crowded field of WWII women in espionage novels last year. This is yet another entry. It is well done but I am so tired of reading books in this setting. Let’s find another era to write about.

Points North: Stories by Howard Frank Mosher

Moser passed away and this short story collection, set in Vermont’s Northern Kingdom, was published posthumously. It had some editing issues (maybe the first story could have been left out), but overall I enjoyed it. Will continue to read Mosher.

Last Days of Night by Graham Moore

Historical fiction, set in the late 1800s, which tells the story of the battle between Edison and Westinghouse over who will dominate the field of electric light. As an attorney, I appreciated that Paul Cravath was the central character. Other historical notables, such as Nikola Tesla and J.P. Morgan also play significant roles. There is a bit of a love story. While I liked the general history/narrative of this book, the writing was atrociously bad. It was one overdone metaphor/simile after another: “He spun his fingers again, the gin in his glass swaying like the waves in a summer storm.” Ugh.

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

This book has gotten a lot of hype which is too bad because it is a good but not a great book so it will end up being overrated. I enjoyed it – part mystery, part love story, part coming of age with a strong appreciation of nature. Some helpful pointers to manage your expectations: should you read this book, yes; will you enjoy it, probably, yes; will it change your life, no; is it one of the best books ever, no.

Bachelor Brothers Bed and Breakfast by Bill Richardson

This is a sweet little book about two eccentric brothers who run a literary bed and breakfast. The characters are quirky and it is a fun read. Good but not great.

Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer

Completely overrated – this was drippy and predictable and, of course, set during WWII because this is, apparently, the only backdrop available to fiction writers these days. I am not sure what I was thinking, but I decided to double down and watch the movie. The movie was also drippy and changed the book in completely unnecessary ways. Double ugh.

Mystery/Crime Fiction

Wrecked by Joe Ide

My favorite novel I read in this genre. I raved about Joe Ide as a new voice in crime fiction last year. This third installment was the best so far. It’s like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle meets Carl Hiaasen – Sherlockian logic coupled with secondary characters that chew the scenery. Fantastic.

The Word is Murder by Anthony Horowitz

Horowitz’s Magpie Murders was my favorite book of last year. I was very happy to have a new book of his to read this year. Completely different conceit but I liked this almost as much as Magpie Murders. Horowitz is one of the cleverest writers in this genre.

Bluebird Bluebird by Attica Locke

Vividly evoked setting with a strong, yet flawed, protagonist (African-American Texas Ranger, Darren Matthews). I hope this becomes a series. I want to read more.

Two Kinds of Truth by Michael Connelly

I only “discovered” Michael Connelly last year. He is one of the very best. This latest installment in the Harry Bosch series was excellent.

Stay Hidden by Paul Doiron

One of my big thrills this year was meeting Paul Doiron in person. I have been a fan of this series about Maine Game Warden Mike Bowditch since the beginning. Doiron captures Maine so well and, this latest installment – set on an island off the coast, was no exception.

Holy Ghost by John Sanford

Okay, so you all know what a tremendous crush I have on Virgil Flowers. I love Virgil and look forward to Sanford’s yearly installment in this series like I am going on a date. Sadly, Sanford has been developing the relationship between Virgil and his girlfriend, Frankie, to the point where I may have to find another literary crush.

To Die But Once Jacqueline Winspear

Historical fiction. This is book 14 in the Maisie Dobbs series and Winspear has stayed strong and consistent throughout. Maisie is a favorite heroine.

The Bat by Jo Nesbo

I had to read a Nordic Noir for book bingo. I don’t usually read this genre because I don’t like the graphic violence/sexual violence (loathed Girl With a Dragon Tattoo for this reason). Did not like that aspect of this book either but Jo Nesbo can write. If you can stomach the violence and haven’t read him, don’t wait. He is a master.

The Final Bet by Abdelilah Hamdouchi

This is a translated work from Morocco and part of my “reading less provincially” program. This is not the most intricate of plots and you will have the murderer figured out well before the end. However, learning that Moroccan crime fiction did not exist until recently, because police corruption made is obsolete, adds a level of appreciation to this novel.

Ash and Bone by John Harvey

I consider Marilyn Stasio (the NY Times crime fiction reviewer) to be an Oracle. If Marilyn says she likes something, I will check it out. She gave a thumbs up to Frank Harvey so I decided to read him. This was the second book (not sure how I missed the first – I like to start a series at the beginning) in his Frank Elder series. I liked it. It was gritty without being over the top. Elder reminds me of John Rebus – one of my favorite characters. There was enough of a twist in the plot that I was interested to the end. I will probably read more.

Salt Lane by William Shaw

This one was on a list of best overlooked mystery novels of 2018 – or something along those lines. I would generally agree with that. I give him high marks for the setting and the main character of Sergeant Alexandra Cupidi (who struggles with being a working single mom). Unfortunately I figured out who did it long before the end. Will give him another go, though, if this becomes a series.

Think of a Number and Shut Your Eyes Tight by John Verdon

Read John Verdon’s first two novels because Marilyn Stasio likes him. These are complex plots with a lot of psychological elements. High marks for the beautiful farm in upstate New York where main character Dave Gurney has retired, the realness of Gurney and overall cleverness. Don’t love all the drawn out psychobabble – there are pacing issues.

Q is for Quarry by Sue Grafton

I had never read Sue Grafton but felt that I should after her death. I plucked this one randomly off the shelf. I see why people like this series, but it is too slow paced for me. Didn’t hate it, didn’t love it.

Blind Justice by Bruce Alexander

This is the first book in the Sir John Fielding series of historical crime fiction. Falsely charged of theft in 1768 London, thirteen-year-old orphaned printer’s apprentice Jeremy Proctor finds his only hope in the legendary Sir John Fielding. Fielding, (blinded at an early age) is the founder of the Bow Street Runners police force, then recruits young Jeremy in his mission to fight London’s most wicked crimes. My favorite line from the book was: “A man can be known by his library better than by his house or dress.” I liked this book but the rest of the series hasn’t made it to the top of the TBR pile yet.

Audiobooks I listened to with my son

I don’t have a lot to say except that I enjoyed revisiting these classics, sharing them with my son, and getting his take on them. Here is what we listed to while on trips this year:

The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett

Call of the Wild by Jack London

The Time Machine by HG Wells

Harry Potter books 3-7 by JK Rowling

2018: A Year in Books

Uncategorized

Welcome to my 7th annual book review extravaganza! Mixing things up this year I decided to include the (good) books I read to Lucy (i.e. not the 300 Junie B Jones or Magic Kitten books) also audiobooks (they’re books too!).

Books I read:

The Wettest County in the World by Matt Bondurant

This was a tough book to start the year with. From the description it seemed like an interesting historical account of a deadly moonshine gang running booze through Franklin county Virginia (true story!). And it was interesting but the way it was written, the way that the story moved between the 3 brothers and a random reporter trying to get a story on them, it was hard to follow and lost something in the telling. I’m glad I read it but I felt like I scratched and clawed my way through this one.

The Almost Moon by Alice Sebold

This was a book about a woman named Helen who, fed up at the end of her rope, strangles her Mother who has Alzheimers. In many ways this book really resonated with me. I ran through it (I think I read it in 2 – 3 days) but the ending was such a disappointment, there was no conclusion, no closure, just no more words.

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by Chelsea Handler

Serious literature from Chelsea Handler, I needed some levity after the first two books of the year. As usual, Chelsea fit the bill. Maybe not her best book, but good nonetheless.

How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff

I was itching for some good post apocalyptic literature and there’s nothing better for this than young adult fiction. This was a quick, fun novel set in England during WWIII. I liked it a lot.

The Guernsey Literary Potato Peel Pie Society by Annie Barrows

I’m not sure why there was so much hype about this book, it is a cute little novel not especially well written where everything works out just fine in the end. It was an epistolary novel which really appeals to me but it seemed like all the characters had the same voice. I would have been okay skipping this one.

Frozen In Time, by Mitchell Zuckoff

I needed some non fiction after the last few books so I picked this up and it was a great choice. It tells two amazing stories – one of 3 WWII planes crashing in Greenland and the modern day team trying to find the abandoned planes buried in the ice for the past 70 years. I was hooked from the beginning and couldn’t read it fast enough.

I Feel Bad About my Neck, by Norah Ephron

I liked this book, but I expected it to be funnier, there were a few times I chuckled out loud but that was her very dry sarcasm coming through. I liked it, I didn’t love it.

Mrs Fletcher by Tom Perrotta

This was a great story, recommend by my sister for reasons that became super evident when I first started it. Any 40-something year old divorcee should go pick up this read.

World War Z by Max Brooks

It always comes back to the zombies… I really enjoyed this book,I liked the style it was written in, I like how he included all sorts of different points of view and inserted little tidbits of information that weren’t obvious or in your face. It took me a long time to get through but I think that speaks more to my attention span and not the story itself.

State of Wonder by Ann Patchette

I love love love Ann Pachette and this was a beautifully written story that had me sucked in from page 1. As much as I enjoyed it and really liked the main character – I did find the science presented in it to be utterly ridiculous, I was able to look past that and still enjoy it.

The Taliban Shuffle by Kim Barker

This was a super interesting read although it took me forever to get through. I found the perspective of this book fascinating although I developed a deep seeded dislike for the author, I cant describe why but in the end it didn’t take away from the enjoyment or the lessons learned in her story.

Some Things That Stay by Sarah Willis

An excellent coming of age novel that I enjoyed very much. This was a poetical read that whispered in your ear and that I felt long after it was over.

Luke Skywalker Cant Read by Ryan Britt

Ugh – this was a chore to get through. I thought this book would be funny, it was not. It read like a freshman thesis from a kid trying to justify his obsession with Star Wars, Dr. Who and Back to the Future. As a self realized Sci Fi geek this book should have resonated with me. It did not.

Tell The Wolves I’m Home by Carol Rifka Brunt

A very good, solid novel. I liked the main character in this book a lot, the relationship she has with her older sister was very familiar to me and I think the author did an excellent job fully developing everyone’s characters. The story was not at all what I expected but I enjoyed it very much and felt sad when it was over and I couldn’t read it anymore.

Gone With The Mind by Mark Leyner

I thought this book was very funny. I thought Mark created a modern day Hitchhikers Guide To the Galaxy-esq book. There were parts that I read and then went back and reread to fully appreciate them more. I am very glad because I got it out of the same clearance humor bin that I got the Luke Skywalker book and this one was lightyears better than that one (see what I just did there?)

The Wind Up Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi

OMG, I loved this book. Paoloa creates a world that is so vivid I felt like I could see, taste and smell it while reading this book – I never wanted it to end.

Rise and Shine by Anna Quindlen

Meh. I read this because I needed a pallet cleaner after the Wind Up girl, something reality based and light, this book was both of those things but also superficial and one dimensional.  If you are thinking of picking it up I’d reach for something else.

Giant of the Senate by Al Franken

I know many of you will give me grief about this, after Al’s fall from grace but in reality I don’t think he deserved what happened and it certainly doesn’t diminish the fascinating look into the day to day life of a US senator told by someone able to relate to everyday people. I enjoyed and learned from this book, I am even more sad now that he has lost his seat and is no longer an advocate for the people of Minnesota.

Pump Six by Paolo Bacigalupi

I ordered this about 3 minutes after finishing the Wind Up Girl, it is a mind trip of essays set in the same dystopian future. Reading it so soon after finishing the Wind Up Girl was probably a mistake it was almost TOO MUCH, I felt worn out by it at the end, but even now weeks after finishing it I’m still thinking of the stories he created.

Waiting for the Barbarians by J. M. Coetzee

This was a really interesting book, it was a quick read that I didn’t anticipated I would like. It sat in my to be read pile forever.  Needless to say I was pleasantly surprised. I read Disgrace by him many years ago and disliked it so much I wasn’t sure I’d give him a second chance. I am glad that I did.

My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler

Ugh, not my favorite of her books. It might  be best to take Chelsea in small doses and I think that I might have overdone it. This was an entire book about all of the one night stands that she had, it was not as funny as I think she meant it to be.

The Call by Yannick Murphy

This was an unexpected gem of a book! I picked it up at a library sale and it sat in TBR pile for a long time. The story was written a series of journal entries describing his life as a New England veterinarian which gets turned upside down when his son is hurt in a hunting accident and left in a coma, it is his search for both the man responsible and the meaning behind events told in clinics notes, I inhaled this book I couldn’t read it fast enough.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by by Rebecca Skloot

Excellent, everyone should read this book. The story behind this book was incredible, it was well written and informative without being boring. My only complaint would be marketing, I had this book forever and never picked it up because the cover was so unappealing (yes, I am that shallow), the blurbs didn’t do it justice and I feel like overall it should have been presented in a different way.  Go buy it anyway, for yourself and for your children and your parents.

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Phillip Dick

I’ve been meaning to read this book for years, being a standard classic sci fi story. I liked it, it’s been years since I watched Blade Runner so I cant remember how closely the plots align together but all that aside I give this book a solid B.

Where’d you Go Bernadette? by Maria Semple

Super popular and therefore I didn’t really expect to like this book as much as I did. The story was pretty far fetched but it was well written and well developed. Its a great beach read.

Mr. Penumbra’s 24 hour Bookstore, Robin Sloan

What a fun book. Honestly what could be better for a book lover than a mystery book ABOUT books. It probably wasn’t one of the best written books I read all year, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi

A must read for EVERYONE. This is a short and simple graphic novel that explains what it was like living through the Islamic revolution. I read it in a day and it taught me more than any class I’ve ever sat through. Go get your copy now!

A Year of Reading Dangerously by Andy Miller

I read this book on the recommendation of my sister who raved about it. I liked it, I didn’t love it. The books chronicles a year in the life of the author wherein he reads all of the great literature he’s always told people he has read, there are moments in here that are very very funny although I feel like a lot of it was over my head. I hadn’t read the majority of the books he chronicles and missed many of the references and subtle innuendos, by the end I was skipping large sections – sorry Beth!

The Good Earth by Pearl Buck

A classic novel I’ve been meaning to pick up for a long time and finally did. It blew my mind how much a simple narrative could have such a huge impact. I understand completely how this book won the Pulitzer and has been studied by scholars for decades, I wish I would have read it sooner, I’m looking forward to reading it again sometime.

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

Completely ridiculous in all the right ways, this novel was a really fun joy ride of imagination. I never saw the movie, which I heard was terrible but the book was a lot of fun, I read it in a just a few days and even though the entire time I was shaking my head with the absolute absurdity of it all I still really enjoyed it. A great feel good book for all of the underdogs out there.

Mixed by Angela Nissel

Ugh, I did a little happy dance when I saw this book at a library book sale, her first novel The Broke Diaries being one of the all time funniest books that I have ever read, I was super excited to read something else by her. But this book, which was a memoir of sorts about her experiences growing up as a bi-racial woman struck me mostly as sad and depressing, she put a sarcastic spin on it but reading between the lines it didn’t seem funny. I did not finish it.

Forever, Pete Hamill

A serious contender to get on the list of best books that I have ever read. This is an epic story that spans hundreds of years but never gets tired or boring. I almost didn’t read this book because the title and the cover art suggested this was a romance which is not my cup of tea. It did have some romance but it was so much more than that, this book was 500 pages that went by in the blink of an eye… Definitely the best book of the year.

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Abartalli

Another popular book that I didn’t expect to like, but I did I – I feel in love a little  with Simon and became totally caught up in his gay high school romance. I did not love that the story wrapped up so perfectly at the end and I did think that his best friends where completely unrealistic (no one is that selfless and empathetic in high school).

Madonna in a fur coat by Sabahattin Ali

I love foreign books translated in to English and this one was excellent, it was a novel that whispered in your ear and forced you to be still and quiet to hear it. I loved it, despite being angry with the protagonist for most of the story.

Commonwealth by Ann Patchette

What a good book, I’ve read several of her works and I think this ranks almost as high as Bel Canto which might just be one of the best books of all time. This story was a little slow and I put in down a few times in the beginning but once I was able to slip into it I never wanted it to end. Complex and rich, it will stay with you long after it is over. Much better than  State of Wonder.

The Sound of Waves by Yukio Mishima

In an effort to read more books from foreign countries translated in to English I picked this up. It is a short Japanese novel set on a small island off the coast of Japan. It was a pleasure to read, quick and light and able to transport me to a different place and time. I liked it a lot.

Icy Sparks by Gwyn Hyman Rubio

I picked this up at a library sale and didn’t realize until after I started it that it was an Oprah book club book. Maybe for that reason I expected something more than I got. It s a story of a young girl growing up poor in the Appalachians who suffers from turrets syndrome. I did not connect with this book. I felt badly for Icy the entire time I was reading it but overall I would not recommend this book.

Choose your own Autobiography, Neil Patrick Harris

I love NPH and was excited to get this book. I both loved it (content) and hated it (format). You can read the letter I wrote to him here

Childhoods End by Arthur C. Clarke

Classic old school sci-fi. I needed a departure from well, everything I had read lately and as usual I turned to science fiction. This was a good book that made you think, I didn’t fly through it like I do with sci fi books that I really like. I struggled a bit to get in to it, but even so I did end up liking it and have thought it over many times after I was done.

This Boys Life by Tobias Wolff

Reminiscent of Jeannete Walls this is the story of Toby’s boyhood and growing up with dysfunctional parents. It was good if a little heartbreaking, I liked it but I didn’t love it.

The bullfighter checks her makeup by Susan Orlean

Ugh, I felt like it took years to get through this book. I am not always a fan of essay writing and this book did not change my mind. Some of them were very good but some of them dragged on seemingly forever. I would say I really enjoyed about 30% of what was in here.

Killers of the Flower Moon by David Grann

Both fascinating and heartbreaking, this is the true and terrible story of the murder of dozens of Osage Indians for no other reason than to steal their money and oil. I think more people should read this story. My only complaint is that the book is almost two books in one, the first half is heavily researched step by step account of the FBI investigation of several murders and the second half was a rushed accounting of hundreds if not thousands of other murders, it seemed like maybe he ran out of time and just threw the ending together, it should have been presented better.

Tangled Lands by Paolo Bacigalupi and Tobias S. Buckell

Another book I ordered right after I read The Wind Up Girl. I really enjoyed this book – it was several short stories set in a land where magic was illegal and the effects of it where taking over and destroying the world. Paolo and Tobias took turns writing the stories, some of which I liked more than others but overall I found this a very enjoyable book.

Pigs in Heaven by Barbara Kingsolver

I didn’t love this book, honestly I’m not even sure that I really liked it very much. I guess I expected more from someone who wrote the Poisonwood Bible

84 Charing Cross Road by Helen Hanff

Charming and quaint, this short little book can be read in an afternoon. I liked it very much, I felt like by the time I was finished I was good friends with all of the characters.

Last Night in Twisted River by John Irving

This book nearly beat out Forever  for the best book of the year. It was exceptionally well crafted and I looked forward to reading it everyday. The one big problem was the ending, I liked what happened but the way it happened made no sense and also seemed super rushed, for a 600 page book it seemed like he could have spent a few more days and actually given the story and ending instead of throwing nonsense at you and then just stopped writing, I felt very much let down.

Foundation by Isaac Asimov

Admittedly I have not finished this book yet, but I’m pretty close to the end. I am enjoying it although I think I like the idea and concepts of this book better than the actual execution. I’m still undecided on whether I will read the rest of the series.

~

Books I read to Lucy:

The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster

What an amazing book! I don’t know why I never read this as a kid, but I really really enjoyed it as a adult, the word play was absolutely brilliant. Lucy liked it too although I did have to stop and explain many things to her.

Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh by Robert O’Brien

I remember loving this book as a kid and reading it again as an adult was just as magical.

Cricket of Time Square by George Seldon

A fun and endearing tale. I loved this book.

The Penderwicks, books 1 -5 by Jeanne Birdsall

We either listened to or read all five of the Penderwick books this year. I thought they were great children’s literature, full of fun, adventure and a few important life lessons. Lucy loved these books and besides Harry Potter are her favorite to date.

Lost on a Mountain in Maine by Donn Fendler

I remember having this read to me when I was in Elementary school and it stuck with me. I don’t think I’ve ever hiked anywhere and not thought of this story. I don’t know if Lucy had the same reaction, honestly she seemed more bored than anything while I was reading it to her.

A Light in the Forest by Conrad Richter

Trying to get Lucy out of her comfort zone, I wanted her to hear a story that made her empathize with someone unlike her. I’m not sure she liked this book or really understood a lot of it but I did. I thought it was a good read.

Hatchet by Gary Paulson

Another book I liked better than Lucy did. I thought this was an amazing tale, told clearly and descriptively at a kids level. It should have been 30 pages longer, the story wrapped up too fast for my liking.

Mrs Piggle Wiggle by Betty MacDonald

This year we read all of the Mrs. Piggle Wiggle books. I ordered them for Lucy because I remember reading them as a kid and thinking they were amazing, and she had the same reaction. As an adult however I cant fathom why I loved them so much, they all seemed repetitive and formulaic. But whatever, this wasn’t about me.

Otherwise Known as Sheila The Great by Judy Blume

Classic children’s story. We both enjoyed this one.

~

Books We Listened to:

The Tale of Desperoux by Kate DiCamillo

We listened to this in the car and I thought it was brilliantly done, the reader did a spectacular job talking to you not reading at you – it felt like there was a real storyteller in the car.

Harry Potter 1-5 by J.K. Rowling

There is nothing more effective to get Lucy in the car than to offer to play Harry Potter for her. I had tried to read the first one to her at bedtime early in the year but she was uninterested in it so I let her watch the movie and then checked he audio books out of the library. She is hooked, she dressed up as Hermione for Halloween and is anxious to finish the series, we are currently in the middle of the Order of the Phoenix.

 

 

Christmas Letter 2018

Holidays, Newsletter

Hello and welcome to my open Christmas letter! I’m posting it here in order to save the earth from all of the paper that I would have otherwise used printing it out for everyone on my Christmas card list and definitely not because I’m too lazy to go to the store, buy pretty paper, and stuff it in to envelopes. That’s definitely not why I’m using this high tech electronic format.

I actually hesitated even writing a Christmas letter this year, I mean it seems so passe and I’m not even sure anyone reads it. But I guilted myself in to it for the sake of nostalgia. Nostalgia can get me to just about anything.

This year was somewhat of a mixed bag, it started with several losses that were difficult to deal with. In February we said goodbye to my sister Ellen and in April we said goodbye to my father.

…

And that, my friends is where I’ve lost the momentum of every Christmas letter I have tried to write since I started this the weekend before thanksgiving. It seems hard to transition from there to our fun trip to Disney, or Lucy successfully completing the second grade or Jason & I celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary. All of which are things that we did and enjoyed and splashed across social media so shouldn’t come as a surprise to any of you.

The following are the statistics that can pretty much some up the rest of the year for you:

All told I took about 807 selfies this year. I sent over 60,000 texts messages (I know this for a fact because the T Mobile guy was boisterous about pointing it out when I upgraded my phone in August). I have spent 608 hours sitting in the waiting room at dance/tumbling/gymnastic classes. I have brushed 534,697 tangles out of someone’s hair. I have applied sunscreen 3,007 times, I have rated 700 jumps into the swimming pool. I have played 4,893,120 words on words with friends. I have read 56 books, I have purchased 250 train tickets. I’ve changed my hair color 3 times.  I have traveled to Florida, Maine, New Jersey, North Carolina, Washington DC and Texas. I have taken 279 conference calls. I have been on 12 date nights with my husband. I have set off the smoke detector once, I have shaved maybe 5 times…

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Let’s hang out in 2019!

An Open Letter to Neil Patrick Harris

Books, CelebrityWhore, gay men rule

Dear Mr. Patrick Harris,

It is no secret that I have been a fan of yours for years, I watched Doggie Howser as a kid and was overjoyed to find you back on television as Barney Stinson in HIMYM. I even blogged about you way back in the day when this website was still in its infancy, you can read about it here and if I must* say it was hilarious. It also should be noted that my husband also loves you which is notable because the list of people he likes is very very short. In the very beginning of our relationship (like the first weekend we moved in together) he left me for a long weekend in NYC where he went to watch you perform in Assassins, not only did he see you perform but he stood out back afterwards and waited for you to get your autograph (which I’m pretty sure he lost later that night in a drunken stupor in the hotel bar of the W).  He came home from that trip raving about how crazy talented you are and how very down to earth you seemed to be, he and was super impressed that when the rest of the cast hurried off after the show  you stayed to talk to everyone gathered at the back door, and when it was finally time to go you apologized for not being able to stay longer, unlocked your bike from a nearby lamppost and rode off.

Needless to say you are a family favorite, the 3 of us currently watch you terrorize the Baudelaire’s in the Netflix adaptation of a Series of Unfortunate events (you make an excellent Count Olaf).

Anyway, Neil I’m not here to talk about your acting career (awesome as it might be) but your recent foray into writing.  My husband and daughter have both read (and enjoyed) the Magical Misfits and I just finished your Choose Your Own Autobiography. Based on these two items I think that you are a fairly talented writer (if you knew me you would understand that that is high praise). I was really looking forward to reading this book knowing that it would most likely be as honest and down to earth as my husband believes you to be (also he bought it and asked me to read it first to see if it was something he would want to read – he does this a lot so that particular request was not entirely about you (I said’yes’ btw)). What I really want to say to you, Neil, is that I enjoyed your autobiography however the whole gimmicky ‘choose your own adventure’ aspect was entirely unnecessary. I know you probably chose to do this to make your book stand out and to insert some ridiculousness in it, but you didn’t need to. It would have stood well on its own, for me the whole choosing aspect really took away from your story. At first I tried to follow along, choosing the path that I thought actually portrayed your journey, but I gave up after I realized that the chronology was all off and I was missing what was happening. I ended  up reading the book straight cover to cover which worked out okay but made some things confusing. For instance I was able to pick out the sections that were thrown in for simple hilarity but I was also wrong a few times, like the chapter on hanging out at Elton John’s house I thought for sure was pure fiction until I realized it wasn’t – also OMG NPH you get to hang out at Elton John’s house! How cool and jealousy-provoking is that tidbit of information?

So, Neil (can I call you Neil?) knowing how much celebrities and writers in general love unsolicited criticism advice I just wanted to say that next time you write an autobiography (and there will be a next time) please don’t feel the need to embellish it in any way, you don’t need to. Oh and also, since you were asking – I’d probably not use the word meta as an adjective.

Hugs,

Becca

This is my favorite picture from your book

*I must