Monthly Archives: April 2012

Stir Crazy

There are days since I have been unemployed that I relish in my hermit-like tendencies. I will keep the shades drawn and not even think about getting out of my sweats until after lunchtime. I think about how little I miss the stress and demands of holding down a job and speaking in complete sentences. I bond with my friends of HGTV and utilize text messaging to keep in touch with the outside world. There is definitely a part of me that yearns to live in an experimental bio dome or on the international space station with limited social interaction.

But there are other days, the other side of me that wants to badly to have a purpose and responsibility again. Part of me that craves conversations with adult human people. Conversations that do not center around if the dishwasher is clean or dirty or how many diapers we have left.  On these days I want a reason to shower everyday, to put on pants that aren’t jeans and feel like I contribute to our household.

Recently I have had many more of the later days than the former. Maybe it was because just a week and a half ago I was in the final running for three really good job opportunities.  Thoughts of getting back into the work force and dusting off my black pants had gotten me excited and pushed my inner-hermit into the back seat. Now, I am down to one option, the other two being ‘very sorry’ and wanting me to know ‘it was a tough decision but…’ I am holding my breath and not going anywhere without my blackberry.

Yesterday, going completely stir crazy I decided that I needed to run errands that didn’t really need running, I just had to talk to people.  Ironically after three different stops I never actually uttered a word. I pumped my own gas,  I scanned my own groceries and spent some quality time with a drive-up ATM machine.

I wonder if I should call NASA and see if the space station needs a librarian.

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Newsletter: Month 20

Lucy,

One week ago you turned twenty months. Because of job interviews and ample amounts of gin (not together) I am way behind on this newsletter. This past month has been wonderful, we were able to go away on a family vacation and while we were away learned many valuable lessons, like if given the opportunity you like to do your own hair:

Nice Hair
We learned that you are not a fan of heights:

Too high! too high!
And we learned that your favorite place is (still) at the beach:

Yea for the beach!
Aside from our vacation you have made a lot of progress with communication, you can tell me lots of things that before were simply guesses on my part. Up until last week your favorite word was “more” – whatever you had you always wanted “more” of it. You have recently switched that up and your favorite work has become “Mine!” but that is a development that really belongs in your next newsletter.

You have become more and more a Daddy’s girl and when he’s not around you are always asking for him, when he is around you are all over him. You have learned to give real kisses, not just open mouth slobbery ones now, but pucker up and deliver good smacks.

Daddy's girl

You have gone back and forth between being a good eater and not touching a single thing we give you – but we can still usually count on your eating fish, yogurt, cheese and of course cookies, which is not only one of your favorite foods but also one of your favorite words.

You continue to be a good sleeper and have started sleeping in pretty much consistently until 8:00 on the mornings that you don’t have to get up for daycare, all of us appreciate this very much. You also continue to be enamored of the dog and cat, you will start asking for them before we get home. They are, unfortunately, pretty wary of you – the dog, or ‘pooches’ as you call him would rather sit upstairs by himself than allow himself to be given Lucy hugs and while the cat is more tolerant she still refuses to let you ride her even though she is the perfect height for you to throw a leg over…

The weather has gotten a lot better and we spend nearly every afternoon outside collecting rocks, digging in dirt and playing with the kids in our neighborhood, here you are in your favorite dirt hole:

who loves dirt?
This month you really blossomed into a little girl, it’s amazing to watch you grow up and discover more and more, to see you start to connect the dots on things like how conversations work, how to throw a ball or even how to pay attention during story time.

Lucy!
I love you so much – Mama

I would call it ‘designed to work’ or maybe ‘job hunters’

Since being laid off I have watched more HGTV than any 22 normal people should. I like the fact that every show is only 30 minutes long and do not require my full attention. It’s programming that only needs 2 minutes in the beginning and another 2 at the end – 4 minutes is really about all I want to devote to TV while I am applying for jobs, or folding the laundry or gazing aimlessly into space. Also I really like that there is no anxiety producing shows, I mean no one is getting hurt, there are no murders to solve and I find myself relatively unconcerned if someone makes a wrong color choice or mixes patterns incorrectly.

Because of this immersion  I cant help but compare my search for a job to certain HGTV programming… I feel like six months ago I was a dated ranch house put on the market sure that my charm and character would win over any potential buyer, I mean employer. After three months on the market I finally broke down and contacted my career coach (aka stager) she completely updated my online presence, my resume my cover letter style – she branded me and  I reluctantly allowed myself to be made over.

It was clear that is worked, suddenly my phone was ringing more often – I was in demand. In other words my dated 70’s ranch was suddenly transformed into the 21st century. I am currently in contention for three serious offers, nothing concrete yet but it makes me feel like a house hunter saying things like “well #1 comes with a bright spacious office and center city views, #2 is a quiet cubicle in an unknown corner of a back office & #3 is a desk directly behind an open counter where students will congregate all day long.” Location, location, location…

If only I could call Suzanne Wang and have her help me decide.