Monthly Archives: May 2023

5 Weeks of Wisdom

Welcome to day 35 of the broken foot diaries.

This has been a rough week for a number of reasons, school breaks, big work lunches in the city, a small(ish) misstep on the stairs, this morning I woke up with my right eye swollen shut. No one here seems to now why, neither Dr. Mario nor PHD candidate Otis have the slightest idea but all three of us agree that I look like the victim of something nefarious right now.

But on the bright side I have learned a few important lessons!

I learned to break my 40-something year habit of always sitting on my left foot. This is, admittedly, a terrible and painful habit I should have broken years ago. Thanks to all the newly installed hardware holding said foot together its no longer an option. See even I can learn from repeated pain stimulus; maybe I am smarter than Homer Simpson after all.

I also learned that with the power of a credit card and internet access strangers will bring you groceries to you home. I know, I know, the rest of the developed world learned this a little over three years ago but up until earlier this week I was still a hold out that would drive to the store and walk the aisles… like a rube! Well no more, now some dude named “Kevin” gets to touch my avocados before me.

And I learned that you know your friends love you when they come out of their way to visit you during the day, to enjoy some relaxing down time and you casually mention that maybe the litter box needs changing and next thing you know… its out the door and new litter is in its place.( I’m hoping next week to teach this trick to the cats themselves.)

Other lessons have been less than stellar – like the maximum amount of dirty dishes that will fit in my kitchen sink, how easily a shower stool can be flipped over in a shower, how awful low calorie wine is and how you really need to check your on-line orders before you accidently pay for something so horrible.

Life is just one big classroom, I cannot wait for recess to get here….

On My Last Thin Nerve

Its been twenty eight days since I stepped wrong out of the drivers side of my jeep and snapped my left foot in half. 28 days… 15 days since it was put back together with a bunch of pins and screws and plates of some sort.

Look, I’m a pretty easy going person but 28 days is a really long time to put your entire life on hold, have to rely on anyone and everyone for the most basic of things and also a very long time to be stuck in a condo with two flights of stairs and one tiny bathroom way at the top. A bathroom, I have come to learn, that’s too narrow to adequately accommodate a pair of crutches (used correctly) or a knee scooter.

I have not allowed myself to complain (very much) for the past 4 weeks because a.) I know things could be worse and 3.) the people around me, who love me and are giving up their time to help me don’t need to hear that. One time pre-surgery I was coming back from the store with a heavy bag of groceries, trying to carry them and crutch my way from the car into my home when a very nice woman stopped what she was doing, crossed the street and carried my bags to my door. She had, at my age, broken her dominate leg in three places. So yeah, things could be worse… I have a roof over my head, food in my fridge and a job that’s still paying me. Sure I have rug burns on my knees from traversing the second floor stairs 12 times a day and I’ve become impossible to be around because I’m bored and discouraged and lost the idea that this is a fun little adventure WEEKS ago but I still recognize that things could be worse.

I have read countless books (7), I have watched two documentaries (Pamela Anderson and Brooke Shields – who’s a child of the 80’s?) I have started Ted Lasso. I have gone outside approximately six times and every time I do I am completely exhausted when I make it back upstairs.

I have no idea what the point of this post was, except I suppose, to release my angst to the world at large. Some good things have happened. My right leg is hella strong right now and the cats are loving the fact that I am home all of the time.

I guess what I’m trying to say is – if you are reading this and thinking doing someone else’s laundry sounds fun or maybe you don’t feel like you get enough opportunities to vacuum please feel free to come over, anytime – literally I’m always home.

My sweet new ride, making it possible to get from the couch to the stairs in minutes flat.