Every time our dog Guinness feels like he isn’t getting enough attention he fakes injuries. I know… I know, but hear me out. The first time it happened was when our 18-year-old cat hurt her shoulder and she limped around the house for a few days until we decided to take her to the vet. Not being pleased to travel she spent her time at the vets blinding two assistants and setting fire to the exam room. On the way home she peed on me and ripped the shirt I was wearing entirely in two – I decided that she must be feeling better. When we got home from the cat vet Guinness (unaware of the anxiety riddled visit) started limping… and I could just see the little wheels in his doggie brain spinning:
“Wow, Ruka gets an awful lot of attention when she’s hurt, she even gets to ride in the car!”
He limped for a day or two and then we made him an appointment as well, in his excitement to get to go for a car ride he forgot he was supposed to be limping and bounded into the back seat, ran into the vets office and after a thorough check up was pronounced completely healthy.
Last night while Jason was packing to leave on his trip Guinness started limping again, looking dejected and following him around the house…
“ouch my paw… you can’t go anywhere it hurts so bad”
We examined his paw and there was nothing wrong with it. And then as soon as Jason was out the door this morning he looked at me, as if resigned, and started walking normally again.
Any of you who have ever met Guinness and knows he really is just a pretty face are probably stunned by his cunning, I know I am.
Call it anthropomorphizing if you want but I think some day we might all being praying to his statue.
Today’s piece of useless knowledge on my iGoogle homepage is “The male sea lion may have more than 100 wives.” It’s interesting because I had no idea that sea lions had a marriage ceremony.
Today I registered a new student to our schools whose name is… Remington Steele. Really? It makes me think of this: http://daddy-drinks.com/2012/09/24/name-envy/ every new parent should really think twice…
I decided a little while ago that in an effort to make my commute more tolerable I would start listening to audio books and now I am obsessed with audio books… I just finished my first one and am anxiously awaiting my next. The only problem is that I have completely lost touch with the real world. The radio was my last tenuous connection to anything remotely newsworthy. I only watch DVRd TV in the evening, I fast forward through commercials like its an Olympic sport, I am barely conscience of the upcoming… um… election. This morning I had a sad reality check when Perez Hilton told me about Amanda Bines’s last hit and run… these are events I need to know about people.
“Oh red cross nurses
Only take a pint of blood
Yet I feel thinner”**
*Not even remotely ‘daily’
**Is it just me or does the removal of your blood make you feel more svelte?
*** I have serious issues
I know it seems superfluousness to keep marking your birthday in months instead of switching to years like most normal people. But you should know by now that I am miles and miles from normal. And to that end will continue with your monthly newsletter until you’re in college or I get stuck in an iron lung or whatever…
This month has been amazing. You are still entrenched in your terrible two phase and we often refer to you as our “little dictator” but it’s definitely not all bad. You understand so much and can communicate so well that we are able to have complex conversations about all manner of things – usually lollipops, cats or bubbles.
You speak in full sentences now and always want to know what people are doing: “What’s Daddy doing?” “What’s Nana doing?” and you retain information that both your father and I cannot. A couple nights ago we were giving you a bath and I asked your Dad what book you had read the night before, he couldn’t remember but you looked up at us and said “It was the blueberry one Daddy”. Awesome.
This month you and I made a sojourn to Maine. Just the two of us in the car for 9 hours at a time. We had a great time. You are such a good traveler and have no trouble entertaining yourself or napping for long stretches.
While we were up north we got to visit with Nana and Popo and your Uncle Jason & Aunt Shannon from out west. We got to attend your Aunt Mindy’s wedding and see all of your cousins. This was all a little overwhelming for you but we made it through and we had some great quiet time on the porch and in the lake and I really enjoyed our time together.
Also, this month the most fantastic thing happened, last Sunday morning you and I were snuggled together on the couch watching the Micky Mouse Clubhouse (your favorite show) and you looked up at me and said (totally unprovoked) “I love you Mommy”. It was amazing.
Your favorite things right now are picking out your own clothes, telling us what to do, repeating everything we say, trains & the muppet theme song. You are also a very good helper, you love to help make dinner, or clean up or fetch things, you like being useful.
I love you so much.