Pretty soon after I got bitten by that monkey in Spain the Red Cross stopped asking for my blood. They left me alone for over a year – presumably with a giant red circle with a cross through it on my chart. About the time they started calling again I had recently returned from a malaria hot spot on the coast of Mexico – and I was once again put on their bad list and then just about a year later I had the nerve to get pregnant (I’m such a jerk).
Yesterday they called me for the first time in about six months, and we had this lovely conversation:
“I’m calling to tell you that the need for blood is particularly bad right now – we were hoping you could give…”Long pause… “Well…”“I suppose you’re going to tell me you are still breastfeeding?” *exasperation*“Well, actually…yes. Why don’t you call back in 3 months?”“Are you planning on getting any new tattoos” * sarcasm*“Hm, that’s not a bad idea… why don’t you make it 9 months…”
It’s not that I mind giving – its just all these rules they have – and it has been a long time since my last tattoo.
Sticky Jam Hands 
Even vampires have more manners when requesting your blood. Tell them you are breastfeeding a baby monkey and you both just got a tattoos.
Haha – right? I think they think I’m making this stuff up….