The upside of being unemployed:

• Acme at 8:00 on Tuesday morning is a beautiful place, only old people and stock boys. You can be in and out in 20 minutes without once ever waiting in line.
• Unlimited internet trolling time
• No need to wear anything but yoga pants
• 3:00 Happy hour
• Relaxed grooming requirements

The downside of being unemployed:

• No one is around to stop you from making an entire batch of blueberry pancakes and then eating them all yourself while you watch an uninterrupted stream of house hunter episodes on HGTV.
• Unlimited internet trolling time
• Trying to figure out how to reprogram the digital thermostat so that it’s not 55 degrees in the house during the day.
• No good reason not to take every single facebook quiz that pops up on your feed.