Every spring I come down with a head cold, runny nose and general stuffiness that seems to last for months, it’s been going on for oh about ten years now… Ten years, the exact amount of time that I’ve been back living on the east coast. I didn’t put this together until a couple years ago. Actually I didn’t put this together at all until I finally decided after almost two decades of avoiding all manner of doctors, to finally find one and get a yearly physical (sixteen year physical?). And my doctor (who isn’t a doctor at all, she’s a nurse practitioner – because I simply couldn’t go all the way) looked at me and said “You know, you have allergies?” And I said “Really? Is that why I’ve been sick for four months?” (I’d like to remind you right now, that I am smart in other ways…)

I never really minded this four month head cold before because it meant Nyquil and Nyquil is one of my most favoritist things of all time. A glass of wine and a big shot of Nyquil is like a warm blanket that bludgeons you over the head and envelopes you in deep uninterrupted sleep for 8-10 hours. And who cares if you wake up slightly hung over, for someone who rarely sleeps straight through any given night, it’s like a little shot of heaven.

So for the past ten years spring has become Nyquil season and I’ve been perfectly content with that. Last spring was super difficult for me because being pregnant I had to skip Nyquil season, and I missed it… I missed it a lot, so much in fact that this year I seem to be subconsciously making up for it. I tried hard to resist, knowing that breastfeeding and Nyquil are probably not the best of friends, but then I thought “how bad could it be? I mean I feed her in the beginning when I was taking 12 percocets a day after the c-section.” And Lucy doesn’t seem to care, she might be a little less active in the morning, but honestly, that just works out in everyone’s favor.

I noticed on my last Target trip that they now sell it alcohol free, um… what the? It’s the alcohol that does the bludgeoning and that, quite frankly, is the best part. So I grabbed the good stuff and as I was having the cashier swipe my drivers license for something like the 8^th time this season, I wondered how many more bottles could I buy before someone official looking shows up at my house looking for evidence (more evidence) of a meth lab?

It might be time to start buying it online…

As far as I can remember I’ve never been a morning person. My Mother has told me that when I was really little it wasn’t always this way, that I would wake up early in a good mood and be happy to greet the day, but I can’t recall that time. I’m not a terrible person in the morning (not surly like a certain unnamed sister I have) but certainly not chipper and bright eyed.

I decided when Lucy came along that I would change my attitude. I had heard that babies like to get up early and I had read several baby books stating that the manner you wake them up in will mold their future attitudes. The ‘baby whisperer’ went so far as to suggest that you greet them every day with a ‘happy morning’ song – like something out of Mary Poppins (Personally, I think the baby whisperer is nothing but an evil enigma designed to make other people feel bad about their own inadequacies.)

And low and behold, they were right – Lucy was born and she would wake up very early every morning. When I was still on maternity leave and she was very little I would get her up and bring her into bed with me where I would feed her and convince her a two hour nap was just what we needed – most of the time it worked very well, for both of us.

But now she is in daycare and I have to wake her up about 30 minutes before she would really prefer to get up, so I decided to channel my internal child – the child who enjoyed waking early. Now, I get up super early so by the time I walk into her room the shock of sleep deprivation is not still upon me. I’m not Mary Poppins but I make myself chipper and convince her it’s exciting to be awake before the sun comes up.

And you know what I have learned the secret to be?

CAFFEINE and LOTS of it.

By the time 10:00 rolls around I have usually consumed half of my body weight in coffee, my feet start tapping uncontrollably and I begin to talk faster than any normal person can understand me. It’s hard to get any work done (just ask my boss). I usually waste about two hours between complete coffee overload and lunchtime where I just run around my office asking people “whatareyouupto?!?” they often stare in blank confusion, but by that time I’ve spotted something shiny and skipped off to investigate.

I guess my problem is I don’t know when to say when to the k-cup machine…  It’s a little slice of heaven brewing cup after cup of fresh hot beverages.

So yes – I have learned how to be a morning person although it has come at the expense of addiction… ah Motherhood.